2017 Year in Review: Reaching the Depth of My Soul

In this final post about 2017, I refer to several previous posts that do a better job of describing this aspect of our year.

The first 2/3’s of the year were a blur in many ways. My spouse spiraled down into a depressive state and I did everything I could to maintain what needed to be taken care of while also doing my best to emotionally support him. He did an amazing job of being supportive of me in my own struggles as well. We really worked as a team, even when circumstances were tough. I am so thankful each of us have had counselors that could be our sounding boards, advocates and encouragers. I am also thankful for family and friends who have been very patient, prayed for us and were there waiting when we finally were able to reach out.

 

My spouse hit rock bottom and it took every ounce of energy just to do the very basics each day. We isolated ourselves from many people (not intentionally) and when we came out of it, there was much to repair (and there still is). It was a raw experience.

This picture was taken just a few weeks after Jack was at his lowest. This is real life for us, but there’s often so much more behind an expression. 

I am thankful for the month of October and a blogging challenge where I wrote about 31 days of Hope. In the midst of that month I was able to process several emotionally draining situations. There was much rejoicing as it allowed me to reflect on finding hope even in the simplest and smallest victories.

This verse really became my mantra in 2017 without me even realizing it.

Also in October, I wrote down 3 things I was thankful for each day and noticed the positive impact it had on me. While I have not been consistent with it since then, I keep remembering how much it helped me and I am encouraged to keep doing it when I think of it. The journal sits by my bedside, so I am at least reminded to think of things each night, even if I don’t write them down.

I usually take much pride in how patient I am, but there are many ways where I have seen myself fail miserably this year. Much tribulation has come in various aspects of life: health issues, mental illness, strained relationships, stress and discontentment at work: requiring various levels of energy and patience. Some situations required an extra measure of patience, which meant that others received none at all.

I hope that moving forward, I can be much more constant in prayer than I have been. I keep a board with prayer requests near my computer at work to say prayers throughout the day. When someone asks me to pray for them, I usually stop what I’m doing and pray right away, so as not to forget. I want my life to be one of constant prayer, conversation with my heavenly Father.

2017 has caused me to dive into the depths of my soul and stretch myself in uncomfortable, but important ways. I want to keep doing that moving forward, as I feel like that is part of my calling in loving those around me, just as Christ has loved me.

I received this book as a Christmas gift and very much looking forward to reading and digesting it as I journey into 2018.

 

 

 

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