Earlier this week I had a terrible interaction with someone I care about.
It left me in a state of mind I thought I had rid myself of a few months ago. It took me back to a darker time over the summer, when life was really messy and many relationships were strained.
I was angry at myself and the person I interacted with because I thought that counseling, time and many conversations had helped me move on from this dark place.
Things were far from perfect, but they were better, more hopeful.
It took less than 24 hours to improve my state of mind after this interaction, which completely took me by surprise. I thought it would take days or even weeks to get to a place of healing and repair.
As I contemplated what happened I read a devotion this morning about the following parable:
“Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’
4 “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”
6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”” – Luke 18:1-8
In the devotion “It is Finished: 365 Days of Good News” Tullian Tchividjian says,
“The unjust judge made the people cry day and night before he helps them. Our God, on the other hand, will not delay in helping us. Today, remember that we have a God who rushes to our side in our hour of need, not requiring anything of us before intervening on our behalf.”
I’ve learned that God is already at my side when I need Him (and by the side of the person I interacted with, too). I don’t remember praying specific words because I was in such disarray for those hours. But I do remember that the next day he provided friends to pray for my situation and the opportunity to participate in a faith community helping friends in need.
All of this reminded me that God will help us overcome our feelings of unworthiness, guilt and doubt and that His timing is always what we need.