Ok, it’s taken a little longer than planned to finish up this series, but with some input from a friend, I’ve got TWO more posts on the subject this week instead of just one!
Today’s post is the answer to the question: Why is small talk so hard for me?
A few books, (in recent years), have been written about introverts. Each of the following I would highly recommend, to give you a better picture from an introvert’s perspective.
A fellow blogger wrote a review of the book “Quiet” by Susan Cain, here. It’s a book I started reading and just haven’t made time to finish. I would definitely recommend it, along with “Introverts in the Church” from Adam McHugh, which gives perspective for those of us introverts who work and engage in the church community (or work on at team with introverts).
In the review she references a section of the book that says, “They [Introverts], tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”
That sounds about right.
Ok, maybe it’s a little dramatic, but if you are or know an introvert, this isn’t totally off base. As has been shared in previous posts and then a few more thoughts that I had:
- I want to have more meaningful conversation, rather then just fluff.
- I can be awkward in social situations if I need to think on my feet, and small talk tends to force you to do so.
- Not all introverts are shy, but I can be, so that makes small talk very difficult and something I want to avoid.
- For most introverts, small talk is shallow, surface level conversation, and is not worth the time or effort it takes to engage in it. (As an introvert, I love to meet and chat with people, but it completely drains my energy).
The last topic in the series was an idea from my friend Mark, “How to make small talk into more meaningful conversation” If you’ve got on idea or input for this last post, please comment or let me know! I will be posting on that later this week! I want to hear from both introverts and extroverts!