One of my least favorite traits of my personality is my dislike to talk on the telephone.

Perhaps it has a little to do with my introverted personality, but I know that’s not exclusive because my extroverted husband dislikes telephone talk too.

Because I have known this about myself, I have learned to adapt. I’ve always been comfortable talking to family and to friends too, who I talk to on a regular basis.

But what happens when time stretches the gap between conversations?

For me, the longer I go without talking to someone, the harder it is to call. But every time I make it happen, I am so glad to talk to that person, and it’s as if no time has passed.

At the same time, it often feels lopsided to me that I am making all the effort. I try to talk myself out of this because it sounds selfish, but often I feel like I am scheduling the time and initiating the phone dates and not vice versa. Have I done something wrong, is that why I’ve adopted this thinking? Did I distance myself in some way?

I’ve found that moving away just adds to these challenges.

When someone else has moved away, it’s always “We will keep in touch.”, but there are difficulties in that and rarely does it occur, (or have I followed through to make the effort). And now I am on the side of moving away and I understand that life goes on and it’s much easier to have relationships when you see a person on a regular basis.

But it hurts.

I am thankful for technology and the ability to connect, but I am still missing that face to face element. It’s SO important and I didn’t realize it.

I know I have to get my introverted butt out there and meet new people, but I want to do that without letting go of the friends that are so dear to me.

It’s a recipe of guilt and loneliness that I am trying to figure out how to mix differently.

Do you struggle with this challenge? How do you overcome these feelings? How do you stay connected in your long-distance relationships?


  • Erin Forsberg

    I'm just as bad at that, Emily. I hate talking on the phone unless it's with my family or my husband. I'd rather drive to see the person face-to-face than call. I'm also just as bad about making friends, and not too great at keeping the ones I have. Don't have the answers, but know you're not alone in this!

  • emily

    Thanks Erin! It's good to know that others struggle with it. I don't know how to “fix it”, but I think acknowledging it and continuing to try with old and new relationships is the best we can do! I just needed to vent and I am thankful for a space to do it!

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