I feel torn in two different directions. For the last few months, I’ve been working hard to repair a relationship that I broke and one little mistake just blew it up again. I’ve lost this person’s trust…again, just as we were getting to a good place. I know I can do nothing to earn it back at this moment, and it kills me. I made a mistake, but when you’ve done it several times in the past it’s like the boy who cries wolf, but no one believes him.

I was in a good place just yesterday. I turned a year older and thought I had turned a new leaf. This year was going to be different, better… I am determined that THIS cannot ruin it for me. I have to give it to God and allow him to take care of BOTH of us. And I just have to LOVE her, like God LOVES me when I screw up time and again.

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